Emotionaless
by EternalConfusion
Summary: A series of previously unread letters written to Leo mainly by Chris, and Elder. Slightly AU timeline. Wyatt, Chris and Melinda all involved.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer : From here on, I disclaim all rights to Charmed, and the song Emotionaless (Good Charlotte). I'm just a 16 year old girl, with a passion for writing and music. I only own characters introduced who are not recognized characters of the show, and the fluff in my pocket. ;)

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Emotionaless background :

In an alternate reality Leo became an Elder long after he did in the show, around 8 years later, when Wyatt was 9. He not only left Piper and Wyatt; but a six year old Chris, and one years old Melinda.

Emotionaless is a series of previously unread letters written to Leo by his family, mainly by Chris, but for now starting with Piper. These won't be for the weak or faint-hearted, they will be sad, angsty and I will try to make them as empathetic as possible. Inspired by Good Charlotte's song 'Emotionaless'.

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**Prologue:**

"Leo, you can't leave. You can't leave me…or the children." Piper said through her tears, clinging to Leo as he told her he had to leave, to become an elder.

"Piper, you have to understand, this isn't something I want to do, but I have to do it…"

"But Leo…please…"

"No, Piper, this is killing me too, but it was our love that got us here, our love that has given me this opportunity. This may not have been my destiny originally, but I still have to take this chance."

"Is that the same love that gave us three beautiful children? Are you really willing to just leave and forget us?" Piper asked, her voice choked with tears.

"Piper, I'm not going to forget you; I couldn't even if I tried. You and the kids mean the world to me, I'll always love you. Always." Leo pulled her closer and gave her one last passion filled kiss.

Leo was also starting to cry as he whispered "I love you," to her and began to orb out.

"No, wait!" Piper grabbed his arm, "Will I ever see you again?" She asked, her dark eyes staring into his aquamarine eyes.

He shook his head. "I don't know, I really don't know…" His teary eyes stared longingly at her as he orbed out, for the very last time.


	2. Chapter 1 Piper

Chapter 1 – Piper :

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I can tell by your eyes that you've probably been crying forever  
And the stars in the sky don't mean nothing to you, they're only there

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My dear husband, Leo;

It's been six months, I wonder if you'll ever come back to us. To me. I miss you terribly; at times I feel that if I missed you anymore my heart might just burst.

Little Melinda's growing up so fast, I can't believe it. She's just over eighteen months, and she's beginning to walk and talk properly. I'm not sure if she understands, she probably doesn't, maybe it's best that way. I think she perhaps just knows her daddy isn't around anymore. At first, I could hear her calling your name, she used to be such a 'daddy's girl'. It breaks my heart to think that she might grow up, never knowing you.

Wyatt will be 10 next week, I know he misses you. He told me the other day that he wished you could be there for his birthday party. All I could say was me too. What am I supposed to do when Mel starts asking about her father? I could sure use some help there. Wyatt's become so strong, he's had to. I think he feels that now you're gone he has to look after me, and his brother and sister. I try to tell him that he doesn't have to act so strong, but he won't believe me. I just hope he'll stop and relax soon. I don't want him to grow up to fast, and miss his childhood. I can see so much of Prue in him, it scares me sometimes Leo. I hope he doesn't die young too. Us Halliwells, have a habit of doing that. Oh Leo, my baby's growing up so fast. It won't be long before he's a teenager, and then off to High School, and eventually of to university. He looks more like you everyday that scares me too.

How come I always lose the people who mean the most to me? First mom, then dad, then Grams. You know how hard I took Prue's death, and then you left… At the moment I'll concentrate on just being there for our children, I really hope I don't crack like Dad did.

And Chris, my little Christopher. Part of me can't wait till he grows older, I do miss him. The grown up version, neurotic, but sweet. But at the same time, I want him to have the best childhood possible, please don't let this be a repeat of before; Wyatt may not be evil. But I trust that if I'm not a around and he really needs you, you'll be there for him. Just promise me that Leo. He'll be seven soon, and I can still remember seeing him for the last time, when he was aged 21, and then seeing him for the first time after birth. It was so strange.

I know you two had a special bond. Though I'm sure anyone would with someone they saw dying. I can't imagine how painful that must have been. I'm sorry for not telling you about him sooner.

For the first month Chris would come in from school and start saying "Where's Da…" It was easy to see the pain in his eyes as he realised you weren't around. It really hit him hard. Whilst Wyatt's like Prue, I can almost see myself mirrored in some of the things that Chris does and says. With time, I know Chris will overcome your 'moving on', but like me, he will do it slowly and will need help and time. I can see it in him, when he has stories to tell, and I know it's you he wants to talk to; things he would never have thought about coming to me, or even Wyatt with; but he does now, he has too.

The first few weeks were so hard, first couple of months. I cried so much, Phoebe and Paige were over here the whole time, looking after the kids, and me. When I'm alone the pain inside me swells, it scares me, Leo, it scares me. But I pull through, and I go on living, every day just for the children. I love them so much; I think we did something right there. No regrets on that front. Thank you for them, I'd be lost without them.

I miss you, I really do. Every time the door opens, or the telephone rings, I keep thinking it might be you, even when I know it's not. I wish…I wish…I wish…I wish things could go back, go back to the way they used to be. Before…before…well, you know. But I guess we've gone to far now, it would be almost impossible to turn back time. If I could just spend one more day with you…

I'm not okay, not at the moment. None of us really are, but we're trying, we really are. Forgive us for not moving on quickly, but you meant so much to all of us. We're pulling together, and possibly becoming closer each and everyday. It pains me that you may miss out so much of their lives. All those firsts…and even the lasts…though I'm sure you aren't completely clueless up there.

I don't know whether you'll even receive this letter, I've no means of getting it to you, as I don't know where you are, but there are some things I just had to say. And even if you don't read this, at least they're out there, my thoughts, my feelings. One day, I hope to see you again. And I'm sure, if you ever read this letter it means we've met, or found a way of communicating again.

But for know, these unread, undelivered letters, meant for your eyes only will remain in the bottom of my drawer. And I shall include in here, pictures of us all so far.

We've come so far, but we've got so much further to go, I may not be okay now. But I will be okay one day. Hopefully soon.

Until then, I'll go on, sleeping in a bed made for two, hoping you're lying next to me, but knowing you're not. I sure sometimes I can feel your presence, but I bet that's just wishful thinking.

With all my love,

Your wife, lover and friend

Piper xx

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	3. Chapter Two Wyatt: You're Invited

A/N: I'm glad people seem to be liking this so far, thank you so much for your reviews, please don't stop 

Chapter two – Wyatt: You're Invited

To: Dad

You are invited to: Wyatt's Birthday Party

At: Wyatt's House (Ask my mom for directions if you need them)

On: Next Saturday

Time: 3:30 – 6:00

We will be playing games, and having fun, and maybe watching a movie.

I hope you can come,

From: Wyatt

RSVP: Wyatt, or Piper Halliwell (Wyatt's mom)

Dear Dad,

I thought I'd send you an invitation, but I haven't told mom yet, so let me know if you can come and not her. But I know she'll be happy to see you, and so will me and Chris and Melinda. I really hope you can come because we haven't seen you for ages; we all miss you too.

I think it would be a super cool birthday if you came back, just for an hour maybe. You must be able to make it. I hope you can come, and make mommy smile, she's so upset lately. Come and make Mel laugh, and let Chris tell you what I know he wants to. It's not the same him telling me or mom the 'dad' stuff. Can't you come back, just for a while.

I think I understand. But Mel doesn't, and I don't know if Chris really does. He was really upset for a while, I still think he is, cause I can hear him crying sometimes at night, and he tells me he wants you back. Please come daddy, it would make me, and the other so happy.

I really hope you can make it, just for a little while…

I miss you,

Wyatt

A/N: I'm not too sure about this chapter, and whether it sounds right or not…but oh well. You get the idea…


	4. Chapter 3 Wyatt: Why didn't you come?

A/N: Thanks again for all your support and reviews, I love them :)

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Chapter Three – Wyatt: Daddy why didn't you come?

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Dear Dad,

It was my tenth birthday yesterday, I sent you an invitation and everything, but you didn't come. Daddy why didn't you come? I was disappointed you didn't come, I tried to have fun without you, and it was fun but I kept hoping you'd come through the door. Seeing how you didn't make it to my birthday, will you try and make it to Chris or Mel's birthdays. I hope you can make it to theirs. Because I'm older I know you can't always be around, and I won't cry because you're not there. But Chris is only 6, almost 7, so he's still quite little see, and I think he still needs his dad. Not that I don't…just not as much. And well, Mel's still a little baby, so she can't understand if you aren't there. And I think it would be nice if you could come for her birthday, cause I know she loves you, and you can make her smile and giggle. I don't think she finds me very funny, because she doesn't laugh much at me.

Dad, why didn't you come, I was hoping you would. I even put the letter in the most obvious place, I put it in the bottom of your drawer, I looked this morning, just in case, and it wasn't there. So you see, you must have gotten it. But why didn't you come? Would they not let you? Are they really as mean as mommy makes them sound? I don't think I want to meet the people you work with. They sound horrible. Mommy says they wouldn't let you be her boyfriend to begin with let alone her husband. She said they put you on 'probation' I think that sounds horrible. She said they were watching you, but that's a bit weird, did they really? She said before that you tried to get married in secret, but that it didn't work, and that they did finally let you get married. So they can't be all that bad. They must understand that it was my birthday. I'd let my workers be at home for their son's birthday, especially their 10th birthday. 'Cause 10 is kinda important, isn't it? Its double digits. I think it means that I'm not really a child anymore, but I'm not a teenager yet, I will be soon though.

Will they let you come down for your anniversary, because that's like super special? If they won't let you down for our birthdays or even you and mom's wedding anniversary, what will they let you down for? They have to let you down sometimes. They have to give you holiday, isn't that the law or something? I hope you can come and spend some time with us during summer vacation; we could go on a proper vacation this year, just like a real family. And we can pretend to be normal. No magic, no elders, no demons. I think that, and you are all mommy wants. She always says why can't we just be normal. I'd like to be normal too, but isn't magic kinda fun.

I got some good presents for my birthday, but best of all is when mommy said she might think about letting me do magic again; you remember that she took my powers away. She said if I was good, because I was growing up and becoming more responsible that I might be allowed to start doing magic soon. I can't wait, I think its fun. But she said I won't be able to use them on Chris and Millie (That's Mel's new nickname, Chris gave it to her, I can't remember why, I think he said it sounded better than Mellie, I think it suits her), as they don't have theirs yet. Wouldn't that be funny, do you think Mommy and Auntie Phoebe, and Auntie Prue used to use magic on each other when they were little.

Guess what Daddy? I got to see Auntie Prue, and Grams and Grandma on my birthday. Grandma said that the name 'Grandma' made her sound old, but she is kind of old, isn't she? I mean she must be because she's Mommy's mom, but she doesn't look it, that's because she dies, right? Chris and Millie still call her Nana though. I noticed Mommy crying when she saw Auntie Prue, she often does, but we don't see her often, I think I've only seen her three or four time. I haven't asked, but do you think Mommy cries because it still hurts, and to see her there, and know she can't stay? I think even I might cry if that happened to Chris or Millie. I can't really imagine life without them.

I hope you did get that letter and this one too. I'll put it in the same place, so you'll know where to find them. Oh, I just thought that perhaps if that letter had fallen down the back then you would never have gotten it. So you didn't miss my party, you just didn't come because you didn't know about it, but I'm sure it didn't. So I think it was your mean, mean boss's faults.

My friend David has a dad who works in some big company, he's often travelling. But at least he can go to David's birthday parties, how come you can't have a normal job like that.

I think Mommy would have like it if you'd have come to my party, I heard your name, when she talked to one of my friend's moms. Mommy seemed upset, I think she missed you not being there, because you have been before. Even on my first birthday, mommy says the elders were being mean to you then, but if you could come then, why not now? Is it because you're one of 'them' now? You don't treat people like they treated you, do you? We're always being told at school that we have to be nice and treat other people how we want to be treated, so I hope your not. Just remember how it felt.

I got two new games for my games console, one of them is a race car driving one, and I think you would like it. I wish I could play it with you, it's multiplayer, but I don't think Chris would be a very good driver, not yet. But, I guess that might be good, because then I'd win all the time, though he'd probably tell Mommy and she'd tell me to play fair, but I can't if he's not as good as me, can I?

Please come back soon,

Wyatt

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Gimmie some lovin'...and that lil' button down there... 


	5. Chapter four Chris: Three Letters

A/N: Thanks for reviews…mucho appreciated, and yes, I know there's a big age gap…compared to on the show anyways…but heh, it works for me. And the chap is a bit crap, but heh, I wanted to update.

Oh yeah, and I've changed my name:D Well cool, huh? It makes sense to me…I was thinking I needed a change anyways.

Chapter Four – Chris: Three letters

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To Daddy,

Mommy said I could always write to you if I ever really wanted to talk to you. So I am. I told Mommy that I really really missed you the other day, she said she did too.

Wyatt's birthday was really cool, he told me he asked you to come, but you didn't. How come? I wanna have a really cool birthday too, I'm gonna ask what Wyatt would do. But I don't know if I'll invite you…Because if I did invite you, you might not turn up so maybe it would be easier not to. But I want you there, so maybe I'll just let you know when it is, and then you come if you want or not, but you just won't have a proper invitation.

I don't like school very much. My teacher's horrible she's got a big nose and smells funny. But there's a new girl at school, she's my friend now. She has red hair, and blue eyes, and is super cool and funny. She hates the teacher too. Her name's Nicola and mommy said she can come round at the weekend. I wish you could meet her.

When are you coming home daddy? We all miss you.

From Chris.

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Daddy,

I went to Nic's house last weekend, it's huge. We had a sleepover, where we watched movies and ate sweets and popcorn. Her dad's really cool and funny, but talking to him made me miss you.

Remember that time when I was five, and you took me to your friend's farm. That was cool, and we got to go in the tractor! It was a good day, and really fun. Can we do something like that again, just you and me? Without Wyatt, and Millie and Mommy.

I asked Mommy if we could get a dog or a cat the other day and she said no. You'd let us have a pet, wouldn't you. I don't know why Mommy won't let us have a dog or a cat. It's mean…Nic's got two big dogs, they're really cuddly!

My teacher is still horrible. And you still haven't been to see us. Will you at least come soon?

From, Chris.

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Daddy,

You haven't replied to any of my letters; you still haven't been to see us. I gave them to Mommy, she said she'd send them to you, so why haven't you wrote to me?

It's my birthday next month. But I'm not going to invite you, because you wouldn't come to Wyatt's. And I don't even think you'd show up. I'm going to have a sleepover and Nic's coming, she's me best friend. Steve and Ben are coming to, they're kinda funny but a weird at times.

Wyatt said you didn't reply to his letters either. So I'm not sure if I'll write to you anymore. I don't think it's very nice if you don't reply. If you wrote me a letter, I'd write to you back.

I have to go now; we're going for a walk.

I still think it might be nice if you came and saw us…

From, Chris.

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End file.
